Thursday, July 14, 2005

NEW LOCATION

THIS SITE HAS MOVED TO: grandopening-grandclosing.blogspot.com

emmys. . .obviously



congratulations to the office special for getting emmy nominations for best made for television movie and best writing, miniseries or movie.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

"She's Not Gonna Wear Shoes..."

Shutterbugs futher proves that Aziz is a fucking bonafide genius. *Warning, the file is 15 megs.

Why "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers and The Lost World: Jurassic Park Are Good

It’s summer, which is the perfect time to mention to all you kids with discerning taste that The Lost World: Jurassic Park and “All These Thing’s That I’ve Done” by The Killers are both good. And they’re the same kind of good. They’re kind of good where everyone’s too high and mighty to like them. “The Killers?” your friend is likely to say with a sour expression, “They’re bullshit. They’re the kind of bullshit that’s been market researched up and down and all around and spoon-fed to suburban kids who don’t know any better.” Alright. Maybe it’s true. Maybe it is true that The Man knew a good thing when he heard it and made sure that shit was on the OC soundtrack volume whatever. Fine. It’s true. But it doesn’t make it bad. It makes you a snob if you haven’t given it a shot.

And while we’re at it let’s get to The Lost World: Jurassic Park. Admittedly this is not exactly a good movie, but that's missing the point. Of course it’s not a good movie. It’s about dinosaurs running amok – AGAIN. And of course it made a lot of money and of course it’s silly as fuck and of course you’re too good for it. Well, get over it. You’re missing out.

You did see The Lost World, I know you saw it back when it came out, and as you might remember, there’s a part where the tyrannosaurus escapes and runs loose in San Diego. It makes its way from the dock to the city by bursting through a sign that says something about US customs not allowing fruits, vegetables or animals across the boarder. This might be one of the trashiest moments I’ve seen in quite some time. No good movie should have something like that in it! But that’s why it’s actually good. See, there’s also a long action sequenced in which a pair of tyrannosaurs push the researchers’ vehicle halfway over a cliff. The vehicle teeters on the edge for upwards of five minutes. People fall and catch themselves an amazing number of times. Ridiculous. Spielberg can keep Schindler’s List and The Color Purple. He’s at his best when he puts aside his concerns about making an important movie and makes something as throwaway as The Lost World: Jurassic Park.

And, as I mentioned before, you and your fancy taste have also kept you from listening to The Killers. You’ve been busy listening to all the good music you can handle. I for one know that I have. But here’s the thing. In “All These Things That I’ve Done” Brandon Flowers, the lead singer, has such lyrics in store for you as, “I got soul/ but I’m not a soldier.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’ll tell you what it means. Nothing. Who cares what it means? It’s a great lyric. It’s so good. Think about it. Two things that sound the same, but make no sense when put together. Brilliant! Put you inhibitions aside, because the whole song is great. It starts slow. Then drums break in just after the 30-second mark. It picks up speed and Mr. Flowers belts out some nonsense about “doncha put me on the backburner.” Meanwhile the rest of the band steals their sound so ruthlessly that everyone from Television to The Strokes ought to feel taken advantage of. Amazing.

The Killers and The Lost World: Jurassic Park are what they are. Which is a good thing. Not to say good stuff isn’t good stuff too, but it’s only better if you allow yourself to appreciate this kind of thing too. So get over it. Or else I might have to bring Kelly Clarkson into this.

Please post a comment if...

A) you read this blog on a quasi-daily/weekly basis

B) you are not: marc, aaron, chad, brendan, or keegan

I Could Dance All Night



Somewhere between Jeff Mangum and Simon Finn...

Alec Ounsworth solo demo: Wings of Stone

What you should be listening to: In This Home On Ice

(Keegan, take notice of pic above, and be prepared.)

M.I.A. -> Apple Certified

Don't we just love her? We are not alone!
(via stereogum.com)

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

longwave



check out the first single from the new longwave album. brendan likes it quite a bit.

there's a fire

Mixed News

Bad news: Robert Altman looks really old is stricken to some sort of wheelchair.

Good news: He's totally groping Lindsay Lohan.

Monday, July 11, 2005

dios

Sunday, July 10, 2005

Bucky Done Gone


There is a new video for Bucky Done Gone up at the XL site. I must say, M.I.A. is still unbelievable, even though the live thing dissapointed. This video is outstanding for numerous reasons, the first being the hype girl freaking the fence like she's in some Marky Mark video, the second being M.I.A. being ridiculously hot, and the third being that this video completes a trifecta of kinda crap/kinda great videos.

Anonmymous Lawyer

This blog Anonymous Lawyer is written by some cock, but he's kind of hilarious.

One of my favorite things to do is impose artficial deadlines on projects when I assign them to associates. Not only does it get the work done faster, but it reinforces the power hierarchy. I control your time, and whether I'm going to be kind about it or capricious is entirely up to me, and there's nothing you can do about it.

There's little better than the feeling I get when I track down an associate on Friday afternoon at 4:55 and throw a stack of paper at her, explaining the work has to be on my desk by Monday morning at the latest, and then on Monday, when she drops it off, thanking her and telling her you'll get back to her later in the week sometime, when you have a chance to read it.

Wasn't it urgent? Eh, everything's urgent and nothing's urgent. The magic is that the partners are the only ones who ever really know.

I mean, it's ugly, no fugly


Go Fug Yourself has an entire profile dedicated to the ugly shit Jessica Simpson wears. Outstanding. Also, you gotta get a loud of Chloe Sevigny.

Overheard New York

It gets better

Even funnier, THIS AGENCY, specializes in booking Real World/Road Rules related cast members. Ridiculous. Next time Aaron Katz has a birthday, I want to book the entire Real World Paris cast to come and party it up, then Lionel Ritchies nephew or whatever can get really drunk and start fights. Perfick!

I mean, are you kidding me?


I mean, can we be totally honest. Mallory from Real World Paris is ridiculously hot. Now she's some model in NY, but that's beside the point, she dated Ace. Which is outstanding and boggles the mind. Way to go Ace. There's some proof that alcoholic tendencies and a trunk full of funny hats can totally get you layed.

Mitch For This Evening

SUNDAY EVENING



"The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how much I play, I'll never be as good a a wall. I played a wall once. They're relentless."

"I don't own a cell phone or a pager. I just hang around everyone I know, all the time. If someone wants to get a hold of me they just say "Mitch," and I say "What?" and turn my head slightly."

"I got into an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out and slam the flap. How are you supposed to express your anger in this situation? Zipper it up real quick? 'Fuck You' ZIP!"

Saturday, July 09, 2005

Mitch For This Evening


"Rice is great when you're hungry and want 2,000 of something"

"I would imagine if you understood Morse code, a tap dancer would drive you crazy"

Friday, July 08, 2005

A Review of Elevator to the Gallows

Alright, so, like, Louis Malle is supposed to be great, right? Am I crazy or is that what people say? Someone stop me if that’s not what people say, but if that is what people say then they must have lost their damn noodles. Now, I've only seen two of his films, but that’s enough to make me wonder what the hell is going on that anybody thinks this guy is great. I saw Zazie dans le Metro, a supposed masterpiece, a couple of years ago. I thought Zazie dans le Metro was a humorless and irritating piece of junk, but I was willing to let that be in the past. Last night Elevator to the Gallows was playing at the Landmark Sunshine in New York City. I was ready to give Louis another shot.

I’ll say this: Elevator to the Gallows is better than Zazie Dans la Metro. But not by much. We learn at the beginning of the film that a pair of lovers, played by Jeanne Moreau and Maurice Ronet, are plotting to kill the Moreau’s husband. Ronet is going to do it and he’s supposed to make it look like a suicide. Of course it gets botched and one complication leads to another.

Things do seem to start out on the right foot. The score is all Miles Davis, we’re seeing Paris of the 1950s in black and white, and there’s some pretty cool zooms as the lovers talk on the phone. At first I was so charmed by these nice accoutrements that I failed to notice sloppy filmmaking when I saw it.

As the film progressed I started to get wise. I started to notice glaring plot holes, murky (at best) character motivation, crappy sound design, and inept shot selection in several key scenes. I refuse to believe, as some might assert in response to my complaints, that this film is a victim of its era. I'm tired of people forgiving a film's shortcomings because of when it was made. I'll give a film a break in the case of pure lack of technology or film language, but hell, The Passion of Joan of Arc came out in 1928 and it's crafted better than 99% of films made today. So I'm not buying it. Elevator to the Gallows is bad filmmaking.

One of the problems is that Malle tries to balance a meditation on loneliness and desperation with a whole army of farfetched plot devices. At one moment we’re drifting through the streets of Paris as Moreau wanders around in a haze of existential gloom and in another we’re supposed to accept that Ronet would leave a camera filled to the brim with damning evidence on the seat of his running car while he goes to grab something he forgot.

Worse than the plot holes are characters who seem completely inhuman. We’re supposed to empathize with people who are so stupid, so rash, and so selfish that I can’t view them as anything more than slaves to the script and its need to move the plot forward. For example, a pair of characters steal a car in broad daylight, and not just any car, but a car that belongs to Ronet who works across the street and sees them every day. And why? Because, apparently, they just feel like it. And how? Well, see, Ronet left his car with the engine running. So they steal it and then they just feel like engaging in a high speed race with some German tourists. At this point I guess they figure why the hell not. You gotta do what you feel man, especially if doing it will help to contrive a totally ridiculous mix-up that will come into play later in the movie. What really perplexes me is that I think this story is ultimately supposed to be a human tragedy, but these people not only behave unsympathetically, they behave unlike any human over the age of five.

Yet another problem is haphazard camera direction. There are some moments of beautifully loose contemplative camerawork that reminds you that the French new wave is just around the corner, but for the most part the camera is either moving seemingly just for the hell of it, or else it is oddly static. And before anyone gets upset let me mention that I love (for example) Ozu’s camera direction, but trust me, this is not that kind of static. This is the kind of static that makes you feel like Malle couldn’t come up with anything better. The whole thing, now that I think of it, seems like Malle couldn’t come up with anything better and so he went with whatever he had.

All this adds up to a frustrating experience. That’s not to say there aren’t a couple good moments to be found in Elevator to the Gallows. The Miles Davis score is fantastic, if not used to its fullest potential. Some of the wanderings around Paris are interesting, and there is a moment or two where the actors break through the confines of the script. But it’s not worth it. The good parts just make it all the more maddening that this movie is so bad.

Grade: D+

-Aaron

live 8



live 8 kind of came and went with little fanfare in my life. didn't watch it, didn't read much about it, despite the presence of a number of acts i would normally be interested in. well, mr. charlie dugan has hooked me up with a nice link that lets you download any performance you like in glorious quicktime. i am currently waiting for will smith's rendition of the fresh prince of bel-air theme song to finish downloading, as well as coldplay's fix you and dan aykroyd begging the crowd not to boo celine dion. go check it out.

live 8 list

Thursday, July 07, 2005

Politics of Genius


This kind of piggy backs on marc's post, but I feel like I should direct you to these clips of Ricky Gervais' stand-up Politics. You will literally crap yourself on the way to your job interview.

THAD COCKRELL LIVE!


Thad Cockrell is coming back to NY, this time with Caitlin Cary to promote their amazing new album Begonias. They will be playing July 12th at 7:30pm at Joe's Pub.

Important Note

I've been getting a lot of shit for my "top 15 list" lately. I urge you to see who is posting what, as now we have multiple contributers, and address the responsible parties. I, at no time, present nor past nor future, think AI is anything less than a steamy pile of doo doo.

Real Ultimate Ninja Power

If you don't go to this site, I'm gonna flip out and kill you.

Quality TV = Quality Laughs = Quality Life


Beauty and The Geek had their season finale last night, which, because I do not have TV, I could not see, but TVGASM has done an outstanding job of recapping the whole thing.

Another one

I have yet another cousin, Amelia, as of this morning. Outstanding, I'm gonna open a day care.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Blazers beat Knicks 93-89

The blazers beat the knicks today in the first day of summer league action, with Outlaw getting 32, Martell Webster getting 21 and Teflair barely missing a triple double. If that's not really reallly exciting, I don't know what is. Also, Reebok has a cool profile on Travis Oulaw.

Blazers Hire McMillan


The blazers hired Nate McMillan. Excellent hire, amazing talent, bright bright future for Portland. Just looking at this summer's Reebok Summer League Roster shows how much upside every young player has.

George A. Romero's next...

After the critical success of his latest "Land of the Dead" and what was thought to be his final addition to the zombie franchise, Romero has already begun pre-production on a new zombie film. This time, the undead will be real. Scary shit.

dictaphone's lament



our friend will joines recently finished a music video he directed for a band called Tycho. the song is called "dictaphone's lament" and you can check out the video through the link below. it takes a minute to download. and to find out more about the band check out their official site

nice work will, david, kristina and everybody.

video

oh shit

forget sandra day o'connor, this is the most troublesome thing in the news

It's a bird, it's a plane...NO! It's Sufjan!


That's right. It's Sufjan Stevens back again with the offical? iffy release of his second state project album "Come on Feel the Illinoise". But, since most of us have already heard it in its entirety many times over, an exclusive NPR number called "The Lord God Bird" is available as a free download. This is a new track for the state of Arkansas (perhaps this will be the next one), and unsurprisingly, it's terrific! Why does every note this man touches turn to gold? Superman or no superman, click here to find out.

bush + bicycle = policeman in hospital

Sometime in Summer 2005...Obviously!!

For all your up-to-the-minute information on the latest show, called "Extras" by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant head here! There's a couple of trailers and video clips. I, for one, can't wait!

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Come on, hilarious.

Most Amazing Site Ever Made

boooo!

Unbelievable

Sunday, July 03, 2005

15 movies - #15

15 movies from the first half of this decade that have kicked my ass and changed my life. presented in 15 parts in alphabetical order.

Y Tu Mama Tambien

Saturday, July 02, 2005

15 movies - #14

15 movies from the first half of this decade that have kicked my ass and changed my life. presented in 15 parts in alphabetical order.

You Can Count on Me

Friday, July 01, 2005

Keegan & Jude > Chad

i crashed the trailer

15 movies - #13

15 movies from the first half of this decade that have kicked my ass and changed my life. presented in 15 parts in alphabetical order.

Requiem for a Dream

Please Read The Following: