Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Why "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers and The Lost World: Jurassic Park Are Good

It’s summer, which is the perfect time to mention to all you kids with discerning taste that The Lost World: Jurassic Park and “All These Thing’s That I’ve Done” by The Killers are both good. And they’re the same kind of good. They’re kind of good where everyone’s too high and mighty to like them. “The Killers?” your friend is likely to say with a sour expression, “They’re bullshit. They’re the kind of bullshit that’s been market researched up and down and all around and spoon-fed to suburban kids who don’t know any better.” Alright. Maybe it’s true. Maybe it is true that The Man knew a good thing when he heard it and made sure that shit was on the OC soundtrack volume whatever. Fine. It’s true. But it doesn’t make it bad. It makes you a snob if you haven’t given it a shot.

And while we’re at it let’s get to The Lost World: Jurassic Park. Admittedly this is not exactly a good movie, but that's missing the point. Of course it’s not a good movie. It’s about dinosaurs running amok – AGAIN. And of course it made a lot of money and of course it’s silly as fuck and of course you’re too good for it. Well, get over it. You’re missing out.

You did see The Lost World, I know you saw it back when it came out, and as you might remember, there’s a part where the tyrannosaurus escapes and runs loose in San Diego. It makes its way from the dock to the city by bursting through a sign that says something about US customs not allowing fruits, vegetables or animals across the boarder. This might be one of the trashiest moments I’ve seen in quite some time. No good movie should have something like that in it! But that’s why it’s actually good. See, there’s also a long action sequenced in which a pair of tyrannosaurs push the researchers’ vehicle halfway over a cliff. The vehicle teeters on the edge for upwards of five minutes. People fall and catch themselves an amazing number of times. Ridiculous. Spielberg can keep Schindler’s List and The Color Purple. He’s at his best when he puts aside his concerns about making an important movie and makes something as throwaway as The Lost World: Jurassic Park.

And, as I mentioned before, you and your fancy taste have also kept you from listening to The Killers. You’ve been busy listening to all the good music you can handle. I for one know that I have. But here’s the thing. In “All These Things That I’ve Done” Brandon Flowers, the lead singer, has such lyrics in store for you as, “I got soul/ but I’m not a soldier.” What the hell is that supposed to mean? I’ll tell you what it means. Nothing. Who cares what it means? It’s a great lyric. It’s so good. Think about it. Two things that sound the same, but make no sense when put together. Brilliant! Put you inhibitions aside, because the whole song is great. It starts slow. Then drums break in just after the 30-second mark. It picks up speed and Mr. Flowers belts out some nonsense about “doncha put me on the backburner.” Meanwhile the rest of the band steals their sound so ruthlessly that everyone from Television to The Strokes ought to feel taken advantage of. Amazing.

The Killers and The Lost World: Jurassic Park are what they are. Which is a good thing. Not to say good stuff isn’t good stuff too, but it’s only better if you allow yourself to appreciate this kind of thing too. So get over it. Or else I might have to bring Kelly Clarkson into this.


Anonymous marc said...

Is it just me or did aaron attempt to right this "review" in the dark? Somebody get this man an editor and a tranquilizer!! Stat! Hyperbolic Katz is at it...AGAIN.

12:05 PM  
Blogger Chad Hartigan said...

i am not too good for either of these things. in fact, they are too good for me.

1:01 PM  
Anonymous Ryan said...

Look. I swore off The Lost World after the first time I saw it, when Jeff Goldblum's (somehow 100% african-american) daughter leaps onto some parallel bar-esque piping, flips around twice, kicks a raptor in the face, and sticks the landing. Imminent danger or no, Goldblum thinks it appropriate to quip, "The school cut you from the team?" It was all too much for my 14 year old mind to handle.

Also - Spielberg gave us a closeup of all those embryos escaping into the wild in the original JP. That, along with the already existing island of dinosaurs - why, Aaron, do they need to try to convince us there's a NEW island run amok with pseudo-prehistoric beasts?

As for the killers, I swore them off ever since I heard my girlfriend singing, "I've got soul but I'm not... a soldier." What does she know about music? I mean she voted for Bush for Christ's sakes.

1:59 PM  

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